U of M News Wire: Special Edition - August 7, 2007

 
Editor’s note: This is a special edition of the University of Minnesota News Wire to distribute Dr. Martha Erickson’s Growing Concerns column that focuses on how to help children cope with the 35W Bridge Tragedy.

 
Growing Concerns
A parenting column with Dr. Martha Erickson of the University of Minnesota

In the days since the stunning collapse of the U.S. Interstate 35W bridge in Minneapolis, people throughout Minnesota, the nation and the world have been bombarded with images of cars crushed under concrete and steel, hanging from the precipice of what remained of the roadway and even sinking in the murky waters of the Mississippi River below. One of the most memorable images was that of a school bus on a suspended section of broken highway, its young passengers being carried to safety by adult survivors who risked their own lives to come to the rescue.
 
For those of us who drove that bridge many times a week and knew people directly affected by the accident, this tragedy is close and personal, but even people far removed from the event have had their anxiety aroused by the abruptness and magnitude of the accident and the realization that every day we put our trust in structures that may not be safe enough to warrant that trust. For people of all ages, the images of victims or near-victims -- perhaps especially the vulnerable children in the school bus -- draw us into this event in a very personal way. Children, in particular, may be worrying, “What if this happens to me or to my mommy or daddy?” Even my little granddaughter, not quite 3-years-old at the time of this accident, picked up from adult conversations that her mom was going the next day to her University of Minnesota office building right by the bridge. She said, “Mommy, don’t go there. It’s dangerous. The bridge fell down and killed people.”
 
It is up to parents and other caregivers to be the place of refuge for their children, to nurture their sense of security and to help them develop the skills to meet this and other challenges they are bound to encounter as they grow up. The specific steps you take to help your children will depend on their ages, personalities and how closely your family has been touched by this event. But here are some general steps to follow in the aftermath of this tragic accident or other similarly frightening events:
 
• Minimize children’s exposure to images of the accident and recovery efforts. Although many adults feel compelled to watch the constant media coverage as the story unfolds, the relentless replay of tragic events magnifies their frightfulness for children. When you are with children, give it a rest.
 
• For children of all ages, make time to listen to them patiently, answer their questions and acknowledge their expressions of fear or sadness. Dismissing feelings won’t make them go away. Give your child a hug and say, “Yes, these are very scary things to hear about. And it’s terribly sad to think about the people who have been hurt or killed.” To turn concern into action, think together about how your family can help. Send money to a relief fund or make cards to send to people who have experienced a loss or to the heroes who rescued others.
 
• Reassure your children that steps are being taken to prevent further harm. For children who are old enough to understand, tell them what public officials are doing to try to ensure the safety of other bridges. Or, if children seem concerned about riding on a school bus, explain safety procedures and what the schools do to make sure adults are prepared to look out for the children in their care. And, of course, reassure your children that you are there to love and protect them to the best of your ability.
 
• Focus extra time and energy on the rituals that calm and comfort all family members. Enjoy an unhurried family dinner, play a family game, go out for a walk or a bike ride or read bedtime stories. Children take their cues from the behavior of their parents and derive great comfort from seeing life get back to a more normal routine.
 
• If your child shows signs of serious anxiety, such as unusual difficulty with separations, change in appetite, or difficulty sleeping for several nights, seek guidance from your pediatrician or a psychologist. Some children are particularly vulnerable -- sometimes because a current tragedy reactivates emotions from a previous loss or trauma -- and they may need professional help to work through the feelings aroused by such frightening images.
 
Dr. Erickson is a senior fellow and director of the Harris Programs in the Center for Early Childhood Education at the University of Minnesota

Want to hear more parenting advice?
Dr. Erickson and her daughter can be heard every Sunday, from 2 - 4 pm, on “Good Enough Moms,” on FM107.1 radio in the Twin Cities or via Webcast at www.FM1071.com