U of M News Wire: August 2, 2007

 
U of M professor listens, calms victims after bridge collapse
 
By Nick Hanson
U of M News Wire

Most people watched TV, read the paper, or listened to the radio to get a sense of what it was like when the Minneapolis I-35W bridge plummeted into the Mississippi River during bumper-to-bumper traffic on Wednesday evening.
 
Media outlets, however, will never be able to accurately convey the experience of those who were involved in the tragedy, said Tai Mendenhall, Ph.D. professor in the Department of Family Medicine and Community Health at the University of Minnesota.
 
Although he wasn’t in the accident, he knows firsthand how painful it was for the victims. Mendenhall was deployed to the hospital as part of the University’s Medical Reserve Corps. He listened to their harrowing stories immediately after the catastrophic event.
 
“It’s the sights, the smells, the sounds, the screaming – the sound that cars make when they fall,” he said. “It’s the experience of trying to get out of the water when the car falls into the river.”
 
Mendenhall is an expert in dealing with post-traumatic stress and has worked with victims of 9/11 and Hurricanes Katrina and Rita.
 
After the bridge fell, he was dispatched to the emergency room of the University of Minnesota Medical Center, Fairview in Minneapolis to share his expertise as a psychological first aid specialist.
 
He arrived close to 8 p.m. and left at about 3 a.m. the next morning.
 
While Mendenhall was at the hospital, he tried to comfort dozens of patients, family members of victims. He raced back and forth between doctors and patients for information.
 
He tried to calm the chaos.
 
But it was tough.
 
For many who were in the emergency room late Wednesday night and into Thursday morning, the toughest part was not knowing if their loved ones were OK.
 
“It was awful,” Mendenhall said. “If all you know is that your wife is there and you have no idea whether she is going to walk again – or live – it’s awful.”
 
Others were trying to figure out what had just happened to them – confused about the unfolding saga, even if their bodily harm was minimal.
 
Most of those who were safe, were simply counting their blessings.
 
“It puts things into perspective, as people go through this type of thing,” he said. “There can be a lot of reflections, and suddenly the argument about where to hang the dish towel that morning isn’t that important.”
 
The work is far from over for Mendenhall.
 
He was redeployed to the hospital on Thursday afternoon, and will likely work with patients in the days to come.
 
Indeed, like the physical structure of the bridge, the emotional fallout from the event will take years to mend.
 
 
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Parents should talk to children of every age about Minneapolis bridge collapse

By Rose Allen
University of Minnesota Extension

A major bridge collapsing and sending cars into the river has the feel of an action movie to children and adults alike, except that in Minneapolis on Aug. 1, 2007, it is a real event with tragic consequences.
 
How do parents talk with their children about what happened? How do they explain the images on the television and the Internet of the mangled bridge and the cars strewn about?  
 
Events like this make us all feel less safe. Adults need to talk with others to share information and feelings. The same is true for your children.  
 
It is important to know what your children are thinking or feeling and be prepared to support them. Keep in mind the age of your child, as it will make a difference in how you need to react.  
 
Preschoolers through age 5 may have seen reports on the news. Begin by saying, “That looks pretty scary, doesn’t it? What do you think about it?” For school-age children, ask if they have seen the reports and talk about your own feelings by saying, “I’m very sad for all of those people and their families.”
 
It’s also a good idea to turn off the television or the radio for a while. Young children aren’t able to separate the actual event from the replayed images shown over and over again. They may believe that many bridges in their city are collapsing.  
 
Go on to discuss that it is important not to let what happened scare us so much that we don’t have fun and enjoy our lives. Remember that young children react largely to the attitudes and emotional responses of those around them. The meaning of an event for children is drawn more significantly from the reactions of others than from the event itself.
 
With older children and teens, it is more effective to talk about your own feelings first. If you share your feelings, it may help your teen to talk about the tragedy and their own fears.  
 
Children of all ages should be reassured about their own safety.
 
Children who are distressed may act in ways that aren't clearly connected to the event. They may mope, be irritable or be aggressive. As a parent, be available over time. For some kids, these feelings won't heal immediately.
 
The hardest part of this is helping your child understand that this is something that happens so rarely that the chances of it happening to them are almost non-existent. As adults, we have difficulty understanding random tragedy and it’s even more difficult for children to understand. Children view the world with them in the center and often jump to conclusions about their safety when bad things happen.
 
If parents are open to hearing their child’s feelings and sharing their own, not over-saturating young children with the images in the media and finding ways to check in with their child over time about how they are feeling about this event, it will help children and teens regain their perspective about the safety of their world.
 
Rose Allen is a family relations educator with University of Minnesota Extension.
 
 
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Growing Concerns
A childrearing question-and-answer column with Dr. Martha Erickson of the University of Minnesota

Question: Yesterday I saw a young mother really lose it with her toddler at the grocery store. The child was throwing a fit because he wanted to get out of the cart, so the mom slapped him and yelled at him. I wanted to do something, but I wasn't sure what was appropriate. Now I can't get the image out of my mind, and I wonder how I might have helped.
 
Answer: Most of us have been in that situation at one time or another. And, like you, we're often not sure what to do. So we do nothing -- and feel bad later. A few years ago Prevent Child Abuse America (PCAA), a national advocacy organization based in Chicago, surveyed 1250 Americans about how they have responded in similar situations. Forty-four per cent of those surveyed reported that they failed to respond upon observing child abuse, and half of those reported they had no idea how to respond effectively. Of those who indicated they did respond, 55 per cent said they had given a disapproving look to the offending adult, and 63 per cent reported reprimanding the adult verbally.
 
Granted, it feels awkward, and sometimes even dangerous, to intervene in a stranger's interactions with a child. But PCAA, based on the wisdom of the experts on their staff and board of directors, suggests several ways to respond that are respectful of both the parent and child, responses that recognize the struggling parent's own need for support and encouragement. Here are some examples of how PCAA’s  tips might be applied in the grocery store:
 
• Start a conversation with the adult to direct attention away from the child. For example, you could say, "My child often gets upset at the store too."  By identifying supportively with the parent, you often can defuse the situation.
 
• Try to divert the misbehaving child's attention by talking to him or her. Shopping with a parent can be boring and frustrating to a child, and sometimes a little attention from fellow shoppers can help to ease the tension.
 
• Look for an opportunity to praise the child or the parent. You might say, "You're a brave mom to venture into a crowded supermarket with a lively toddler." Or you could say to the child, "You were so good to sit in that cart for such a long time. You must be getting really tired!"
 
• If the child is in danger, offer assistance to the parent. For example, "How about if I unload your cart for you (or carry your groceries to your car) while you comfort your child." Or you might just say, "You've really got your hands full. How can I help?"
 
• Most important of all, avoid making negative remarks or giving looks of disapproval to the parent. Anything perceived by the parent as criticism is likely to increase the parent's anger and make matters even worse for the child.
 
For further information about how to prevent child abuse, visit PCAA’s website, (www. preventchildabuse.org).