U of M News Wire: May 3, 2007

 
 
Minnesota – ‘The Land of Hyper-Parenting’ when it comes to throwing birthday parties for children
 
By Patty Mattern
U of M News Wire
 
Minnesota is ‘The Land of Hyper-Parenting’ when it comes to throwing over-the-top birthday parties for their children, according to results released by the organization Birthdays Without Pressure.
 
Two months ago University of Minnesota College of Education and Human Development professor Bill Doherty and a group of St. Paul parents launched the Birthdays Without Pressure project to initiate a national conversation about children’s birthday party excesses. Results of the group’s online polling show what communities in the United States put the most pressure on parents to deliver extravagant and expensive parties.
 
A key component of Birthdays Without Pressure is their Web site where parents can find and share advice for toning down parties and making parties manageable. They can also take a personal birthday pressure quiz and rate the community pressure they feel when it comes to birthdays, Doherty said.
 
The community birthday pressure score can range from zero to 20, with this breakdown:  Zero -- birthday parties are pressure free; one to three -- low pressure community; four to six -- moderate pressure (parties are an area of stress in this community; seven to 10 -- high pressure community (a land of hyper-parenting); 11-15 -- extreme pressure community (need for a counterrevolution one birthday party at a time); 16-20 -- off the chart: have a moving company on speed dial.
 
Minnesota received a score of nine points putting it in the high-pressure zone. Parents in New York City, Washington, D.C., Hawaii and New Mexico feel the most pressure to throw over-the-top birthday parties for their children, according to results released today by the organization Birthdays Without Pressure. Los Angeles, San Diego and Austin, Texas also rank high when it comes to out of control birthdays.
 
In rating their communities, people in New York City ranked off the chart in community pressure with a score of 17. Washington, D.C., Hawaii and New Mexico gave their states 12 points, which places the communities with extreme pressure. With 11 points, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, Oklahoma and Wyoming are also at extreme pressure.
 
With a score of 10, California, Connecticut, Kansas, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Texas and Virginia are high-pressure communities. Meanwhile, Arkansas and Oregon had seven points, which is low pressure, but South Carolina rated as having the lowest pressure with six points.
 
Of the 3,252 parents who responded to a poll on the Birthdays Without Pressure Web site:
 
• 71 percent of parents say that parties in their community cost too much and that kids receive too many presents.
 
• 63 percent of parents say parties have too many guests.
 
• 69 percent say gift bags are a pain.
 
• 58 percent say they worry that their parties are not as good as those of their neighbors.
 
• 73 percent say they feel exhausted when the party is over.
 
Evidence of gluttonous birthday parties is everywhere, according to parents from around the United States who have contacted the Birthdays Without Pressure group.
 
"We are hearing from parents who live in small towns and parents who live in the largest cities in our nation and they all are feeling the same pressure when it comes to birthday parties," said Linda Zwicky, a parent leader in the Birthdays Without Pressure group. “They want support for their values and ideas on how to scale things back in their communities.”
 
Some examples of over-the-top birthdays include:
 
• A Chicago party invitation requests a gift worth at least $35. The mother explains that last year her child received some gifts worth only $10, which did not even cover her costs.
 
• Parents are now registering for gifts on Amazon.com for their children's birthday parties.
 
• A $250,000 birthday party in Florida for a 7-year-old girl, with limos, an adult party with alcohol, the grand ballroom for the kids, helicopter rides, horses and wild animals.
 
• The Associated Press reports on a Florida family that rented a cougar for their 7-year-old's birthday party. The result was not funny: the animal mauled a 4-year-old guest.
 
• A mother works hard to plan a nice at-home party for her 8-year-old daughter, who announces at the end, “It just wasn't magic enough.”
 
“We're raising overindulged children who then feel entitled to more and more and bigger and bigger,” Doherty said. “This trend is creating more stress for parents and their stress effects children and in turn, creates difficulties for families.”
 
Parents are getting the support and advice to fight the out of control birthday party trend at the group's Web site at www.birthdayswithoutpressure.org
 
 
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Ceilings affect our thoughts and feelings
 
By Kristi Goldade
U of M News Wire
 
Joan Meyers-Levy stood waiting to board a plane with a ceiling so low she'd have to duck to walk to her seat. As flight attendants herded passengers into the cramped cabin, she began to wonder whether ceiling height might have an effect on how we think.
 
Once she returned home, Meyers-Levy, a professor of marketing at the Carlson School of Management on the Twin Cities campus, looked for scholarly research on the topic and found virtually none. What she did find were hundreds of unfounded claims from people like real estate agents to a guru of transcendental meditation, all hailing the benefits of high ceilings. Her skepticism kicked in--it was time to investigate.
 
Meyers-Levy shared her ideas with fellow researcher Juliet Zhu of the Saunder School of Business, University of British Columbia. Together they conjectured that when people are reasonably aware of their environment and are in a high-ceiling room, they might experience a feeling of freedom. In turn, this feeling will prompt them to engage in a thought process called relational processing, a fancy term for abstract thinking.
 
Conversely, Meyers-Levy and Zhu reasoned that when people are in a low-ceiling room, they might experience a feeling of confinement. This feeling will lead them to engage in item-specific processing, which allows a person to think analytically and focus on details.
 
To test their theories, they performed several marketing related experiments. They used a pair of rooms identical but for ceiling height, which was 8-feet and 10-feet. Lamps were hung from the ceiling to draw attention to the height of the room; then they were placed on the floor to draw awareness down from the height. At each change of the light, participants then completed tasks on abstract and concrete thought.
 
The study confirmed what they suspected.
 
It revealed that when participants were aware of the height, high ceilings activated abstract thinking and thoughts of freedom, whereas low ceilings activated concrete thinking and thoughts of confinement.
 
 
In consumer theory, this means that in stores with noticeably high ceilings, people are more likely to see a big sale and buy, without much attention to the finer points of pricing. But when they walk into a low-ceiling store, they will see a big sale and notice items are only marked down by five percent, and walk away without purchase.
 
However, Meyers-Levy emphasizes that the advantages of high ceilings have much to do with the task at hand. If a person is developing broad initiatives for a university, for example, a job requiring abstract thought, high ceilings should help make the task easier. Yet if a person is studying financial data sheets for the same initiative, a lower ceiling will encourage detailed, analytical thought.
 
Meyers-Levy and Zhu feel hopeful about the broad applicability of their research. It suggests that higher ceilings would be advisable for travel agencies, encouraging prospective travelers to imagine the intriguing possibilities of their destination. And when it comes time for that vacation, travelers would benefit from packing in a lower ceiling room to remember easy-to-forget items.
 
 
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Growing Concerns
A parenting question-and-answer column with Dr. Martha Erickson of the University of Minnesota

Question: Earlier this summer my 15-year-old son was stung by about 10 bees and had a severe reaction and had to be rushed to the hospital. He now carries an EpiPen with him at all times. Since this incident his entire lifestyle has changed. He seldom goes out with friends, refuses to play outside and will not join any sports teams. His grades are OK, but he misses school often due to severe headaches or upset stomach. His friends tease him and don't ask to spend time with him any more. He does spend time with us (mom and dad) as well as with his girlfriend. He refers to himself as a hypochondriac because he now is very afraid of things such as headaches (brain tumor) and stomachaches (cancer). He is also very concerned about the stigma of being labeled “crazy” if he were to see a therapist. Has this one incident bound him to this sort of life? Is there something we can do to help?
 
Answer: A severe allergic reaction can be very traumatic and, as with any trauma, can trigger anxiety that lasts well beyond the initial crisis. The good news is that anxiety problems are very amenable to treatment, through such approaches as “talking therapies,” biofeedback and/or anti-anxiety medication. Many people with anxiety problems respond especially well to relatively short-term cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps them learn to recognize the triggers and early signs of their anxiety and then change the way they respond to it. For your son, it would be wise to get help as soon as possible so he can learn to substitute more positive coping strategies for the unhealthy patterns he’s falling into.
 
Fortunately, he has parents and a girlfriend who can encourage him to get the help he needs. Here are some steps that might help:
 
• Let him know that smart, strong people seek help when life throws them a curve ball. And assure him that the bee incident would have been a real trauma for anyone. He has no reason to feel ashamed for being deeply shaken by it.
 
• Assure him that if he does seek help, no one else has to know unless he chooses to tell him or her. Psychologists and psychiatrists are bound by strict confidentiality rules.
 
• Especially since your son’s anxiety is having an effect on his school attendance and participation in school activities, contact the school psychologist to see how he or she might be of help in evaluating and addressing your son’s problem.
 
• Through the school, your church or network of friends, try to identify someone else who has gotten help through counseling or therapy and encourage your son to talk with them. This can help destigmatize and demystify “therapy.” Or have him e-mail me (mferick@umn.edu) and I’ll tell him how therapy got me through a rough time in my own life!
 
• Encourage your son to check out reputable Web sites and on-line support groups for people with anxiety problems. One of my favorite mental health Web sites, run by and for young people, is an Australian site called “Headroom,” (www.headroom.net.au). A mental health worker in your own community or school may have others to recommend.
 
• Coach your son about how he can respond when peers tease him about his anxious behavior. For example, other kids may be more supportive if he can acknowledge straight out that he has really been freaked out by the bee incident, saying something like, “Yeah, that trip to the ER really messed me up. I need to get back to being my old self.”