December 6, 2007

This holiday season is a wonderful time of giving -- to family, friends, and hopefully even to others in need. Certainly it is in the holiday spirit to focus on the needs and desires of others and to give with love, joy and enthusiasm. But the spirit of the season is also reflected in the way we receive gifts.

Children, with their often-uncensored emotions, usually haven't mastered the fine art of receiving gifts. In fact, I remember with chagrin the time when my son, then five years old, opened a gift from my mother and exclaimed unabashedly, "Oh no...I hate when people give me clothes!" My sweet mother, who thought Ryan would love that red striped shirt, looked like she didn't know whether to laugh or cry! And Ryan, now almost 34 years old, still remembers vividly the lesson he got that day in graceful receiving!

Indeed most of us have received gifts that are the last thing we'd ever choose for ourselves. And it is inevitable that our children sometimes will face disappointment when those mysterious packages are finally opened. But to nurture in our children the true Christmas spirit, we need to guide them in looking beyond the gift.

We need to encourage them to focus on the intention of the giver. For example, we might say, "Grandma really looked hard to find something that she thought you would like. She loves you very much." Whether the gift is fun or useful -- or none of the above -- consider its value, as a symbol of someone's caring. For example, "When you wear that shirt, you can remember Grandma's visit and how much fun you had with her."

Of course your child's gracefulness in receiving gifts starts with you. How do you respond when you receive a gift? What do you do with those treasures that may not be quite what you had in mind? How do you demonstrate for your child your true appreciation of the love and care that went into each gift you have received? I remember hearing in Sunday school as a child that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Surely there should be joy in the act of giving, whether or not we get an enthusiastic thank you in return. But the blessings of giving are multiplied when the receiver truly cherishes our act of giving. So, for those who care enough to give to you and your family during this holiday season, bless them with your deep and heartfelt gratitude for the love their gift represents. And, in so doing, help your children learn to do the same.

Dr. Erickson and her daughter can be heard every Sunday, from 2 - 4 pm, on "Good Enough Moms," on FM107.1 radio in the Twin Cities or via Webcast at www.FM1071.com